Honesty

I feel like a failure some times.

I'm not writing this to get sympathy, compliments or words of encouragement, But to be honest.

Alot of times the life we put out to the Internet world or public world is all peaches and cream. But that's not life, is it? I'll admit, most of the time I do feel like my story is pretty great! Today is not one of those days.

I have one child, one on the way and I stay home. Yet, I feel like I can't keep up. I can't keep the house clean and I'm starting to wonder if I even know HOW to keep my house clean. When I worked, at least I had an excuse. Now I feel like there is no excuse.

River's birthday party is this weekend and no matter how hard I try, I feel like it's not good enough. I'm serving "junk food" and I'm worried about the other kids being bored, not having fun or worse finding their OWN means of entertainment in my house. My printer is a piece of trash and doesn't work and in order to do what I need to do, I HAVE to have a printer.

My laundry is backed up, my floors need vacuumed, my bathrooms need cleaned, my son needs bathed, the playroom is a mess, I've gained too much weight, and my world is not perfect.

When I see moms that "have it all together" and they seem to always be on top of it, I feel guilty. The perfect parties, the perfectly matched kids in expensive clothes, mom all dressed with a full face of perfect make up and designer clothes, big houses, respectful and well-behaved children, healthy eating families..... It all looks so good...... on the outside. And I want to be that mom.

Then I realize, I am! Or at least that is what I show. "Putting my best foot forward"

So on Saturday when I post about River's party and how "perfect" it was, I hope that I don't make another mom feel guilty! The party will be perfect no matter what, my house will be clean, I will be showered and dressed with a full face of make up, and my son will have a shirt especially made to match his party theme. And when/if you think, "man, I could never do that" or "why does her life seem all 'peaches and cream'?", or "how does she always do it and seem so happy?" ......

Just remember this post and how just days ago I was laying on couch feeling like a failure wife/mom who can't keep up. I think we all feel this way sometime, and that's ok, as long as it doesn't control us!

Time to get up and try to "keep up"
(Or at least make it look that way)

:)